I love watching you, Tiny House People, on HGTV.  I love seeing pictures of your homes on the internet. I especially love the ones with multiple views and, better yet, floor plans!  I love your tiny little porches and cute tiny little eaves and drawers under your stairs…or folding ladders if you don’t have stairs.  I love the little tiny loft beds with your ceiling inches away from the mattress.

It’s like a car accident without potential sadness and loss…I can’t stop looking.  I’m fascinated by you, Tiny House People.  Do you mind if I call you THP?

But I have to ask…wouldn’t you rather work just a few more hours or a little bit harder and get a whole house?  Because they are so cute, but I have so many questions.  Questions HGTV never answers.

Where on earth do you put your stuff?  I can go for minimalism in the kitchen, as long as there’s a tiny little microwave and enough tiny little freezer space for TV dinners. But, I must say, I don’t usually see dishwashers in those itty bitty kitchens.

Do have TLWs, my THP friends?  Tiny Little Wardrobes, that is.  Two outfits for each season, and two pairs of pajamas.  The size of your whole house would nicely fit the contents of my closets (shoes excluded and with organizers).  Don’t you have clothes?  On the top of your tiny little roofs are there Sterilite containers filled with your work clothes?  Duct-taped underneath?  Do you wear the same clothes every day?  Because only a few of you have washing machines.  Or bathtubs.

Do your shoes hang from hooks on the ceiling?  Or do you have TLSC?  Tiny little shoe collections…full size shoes, I would presume, but no more than three pairs for those of the more extravagant among you.

I could vacation in your house—if you and your stuff were not there.  Because all of us together…would not fit! Period.

And, seriously, I hope none of you have kids, at least not while you are Tiny House People.  Because, there will come a day when you will need a locked door and a separate room.  Not necessarily for the kids.  For you.  Because you will want to go in there and lock the door, like it’s some sort of bomb/holocaust/hurricane/toddler shelter, and the kids better be on the other side.  You will willingly sacrifice the whole rest of your house just to get away from thrown Legos, under- the-feet tiny toys and smashed red raspberries.  What will you do then, Tiny House People? You won’t be small enough to hide in your closet!

Your houses are so cute, THP.  You will always have that.

And, I have to admit, I am very jealous, as I step over my clutter, that you can live with so little stuff.  Rock on, Tiny House People, and I will watch you on TV.