It occurred to me the other day how often we tell white lies…and outright lies.  What would the world be like if we were all like young children—saying exactly what’s on our minds, without trying to people please or save anyone’s feelings?  What would we say to the everyday questions?  And what comments would we add unsolicited?

“How are you?” is a common enough question, but one that is rarely answered with the truth. What if we answered, “Well, I stayed up too late playing Call of Duty and eating chips and bean dip and now I am overtired and gassy. I am also hoping no one can smell that I slept late instead of taking a shower this morning.  How are you?”

There are unlimited areas the truth could change things.   Dating is another.  “I had a great time tonight! Would you like to go out again?” could be answered with “I would rather cut off my leg with a rusty saw than spend another hour hearing about the golf game you watched on television or smelling your mothball-scented breath…and for the love of God, don’t lean in for a goodnight kiss!”

At work we could tell our more obnoxious or demanding customers, “Thanks for coming in our business—thanks for your money, that is—and would you please go to our competitor next time because dealing with you is just not worth it?”

Job searching would sound like, “I am looking for something else because my current boss is a cheap jerk who wants more and more work, drives a brand new BMW, and hasn’t given me a raise in two years.”

And our friendships would probably not be enriched by, “No, actually your new haircut looks like it was done by a crack addict in withdrawal with dull scissors.  I do think it might look okay in six to nine months after it grows out, though.”

Casual conversations with people we somewhat know and run into at the grocery store would start with, “Oh, what’s even your name?” and end with, “I wish you would stop talking because you are boring and I need to go to the bathroom!”

New parents would be always remember us when they heard, “Wow. That is one ugly baby—I knew your two sets of DNA should never have combined!”

Teenagers talking to their parents could add, “I have no intention of following your rules and am, in fact, desperately searching for a loophole that I can use to justify going to my friend’s big brother’s party Friday night.”

Don’t even get me started on, “Does this make me look fat?”