As usual, time has gotten away from me and a holiday is fast approaching. I was going to dress up as Supergirl for Halloween; mostly because I have the costume and there’s a television show about her. Then it hit me…why not dress up as myself?
I manage two little lives, taking care of all their needs and many of their wants. I give boo boo healing kisses. I run our home, which needs a ton of work, but is still standing. I work full-time, plus some each week. I drive long distances so my kids will be with people I trust while I am supporting us. I keep my title of “Mom” by earning it with sweat and diaper-changing equity. I don’t go out “adulting” often because I prefer to spend my time with my babies. I even keep our many pets fed and watered, if not played with often enough. Surely I qualify?
But before I put on my cape and start strutting around proudly, my doubts creep in. I think of the times I am short tempered; and I feel bad. The times I expect my four-year-old to do things above his age and yell when he doesn’t do them. Sure, most of the time, I don’t yell and am calm, but sometimes I do and I cringe inside afterwards. The preschooler who somedays challenges me on everything, and argues his way of thinking, even when clearly wrong. “Mommy, red light means go.”
My amazingly active toddler who some are already trying to label as ADHD. She is on top of every available climbing surface, and her definition of what is an acceptable climbing surface is so much broader and braver than mine. With her brother as her spokesperson (“Sister wants ice cream!”), and her own language that she would prefer we learn, over her learning common English or sign language.
These are the best of times, and the tiredest of times. There was a novel about that by Charles Dickens wife, I believe. I wouldn’t trade a minute of raising my kids, getting to see them learn and grow and develop, because even at my most exasperated, they are my heart and soul.
Super tired Mom. I think that is more appropriate. Is there a costume for that? And does the cape come with a pillow and someone to watch my kids so I can take a nap?