jannica merrit

humor. honesty. sometimes both.


Losing a pet

Coming Back

It’s been a bit over a year since I posted.

What a year.

I arranged for childcare for my first New Year’s Eve “out” at a Masquerade Ball with a friend. When that fell through at the eleventh hour, I desperately scrambled for a back up…miraculously begging and bribing my way to childcare that night.

We rang in 2020 in decorative masks.


Who knew 2020 would bring so many more masks?

Masks on the outside and masks on the inside as I tried to fight the immeasurable sadness Durango’s death wrought inside me. Durango, and later another rescue kitten, Sydney, have left me raw and broken, but with my two young children dependent on me during a pandemic.

How do I share amusing anecdotes under these circumstances?

And, now, my little girl has just started kindergarten and seems so much older than a mere two months ago. My son is a confident second grader. And, they are back in person, in a school with so many more (necessary) rules and limitations. Wearing their masks and getting their temperatures checked for half-empty classrooms. School is now limited interactions, and they returned under controversy, judgement, and fear.

“Distance Learning” for us, was both a success and a failure.

We got outside multiple days each week and found some AMAZING local hiking spots. I taught them about local plants and animals. I had them in a Zoom class with a retired astronaut, speaking of space travel and going potty in space. (Okay, I was fascinated, too). I shared my theories and tried to prepare my daughter for Kindergarten. I understand many of their teaching methods so much better now.

And, then there were my long battles to figure out Google Classroom and how to navigate a Chromebook (their homeschool teacher swears a lot when she is frustrated). I am not young enough that these programs are intuitive. My son spent as much time challenging me as his teacher as he did trying to complete assignments. I tried to “quit” a couple times, and his teacher talked us both down.

I worry for what the rest of 2020 has in store for us all, but, for now…we have survived and are coming back.

Continue reading “Coming Back”

When you took your last breath

I didn’t want another

My soul knows that after you

There will be no other

I always felt my time with you

Was more love

Than I could keep

Your soft eyes stared into

My soul so dark

And yet, so deep

We didn’t need words

We felt each other so

I can’t believe already

It was time for you to go

A piece of me

Lies in your urn

That never will recover

Until my body’s turned to ash

And I hold again

My furry lover

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