Hello Jannica Merritt readers, I am Jannica Merritt’s daughter, and this is my first solo blog post. I hope you will excuse any grammatical errors as I recently turned three.
For over a year now, the adults in my life have been trying to sell me on a completely ridiculous concept. They have employed multiple tactics, including threats and bribery. I have succumbed to none of them, nor shall I. To quote a colloquialism, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
They have been attempting to persuade me to give up the ease and comfort of my diapers in exchange for the flimsy inconveniences of “big girl panties” and public bathrooms. (The same public bathrooms which are so “dirty” Mother doesn’t wish me to even lie upon the floor of).
I know when I have a good thing going, and I will not to succumb to the pressure and overblown hype. The incentives they try to use to sell me on this are ridiculous and mediocre at best.
1. Potty Candy. Marshmallows and M & Ms are nice, but not equal to the value of the time I squander sitting on that boring potty chair. *Yawn* I fail to understand why there are no wheels for a big girl on the go…but not that go.
2. Big Girl Panties. Yes, so they have cute designs on them. So what? So do my diapers. What difference does it make if I have Trolls next to my skin or Mickey Mouse on the outside of a diaper? They show the panties to me often and ask, “Don’t you want to be able to wear Big Girl Panties?” Same answer as before, a resounding “no”.
3. Being a “big girl”. I already know I am, and I feel no need to prove it to you Judgemental Judies. I am secure and confident in myself and have no need to prove anything to anyone.
4. “No diaper rash when you are potty trained.” THAT, my friends, lies squarely on the shoulders of the adults in my life who do not check hourly and change me immediately after I have a poopy.
5. Offering television, only to have it be yet another screening of “Elmo’s Potty Time”…or, offering to read me a book and it’s “Once Upon A Potty.” Enough, already! I have given my answer.
Lastly, there are the sneaky, semi-manipulative way my Mother tries to sneak in Pull Ups instead of normal diapers, and peppers it with silly comparisons of pulling it up my hips “just like you will big girl panties some day soon!”
Think again, grown ups!
Post Script: I even go out of my way to help the adults around me. I will, if asked, bring a clean diaper and a wipe to them. Yes, it really is enabling their laziness, but I do just love to help. Help, but not enable their idiosyncrasies.